When we look back over our lives, we like to know that we have done some things okay and some things well. As screwed up as my own life was, and continues to be while I battle my own demons, I am most proud of my beautiful daughter. I think I was a pretty good mum considering the one I had.
It was just her and I for about 14 years from when I left her father (a narc) when she was 2 years old until my loving husband moved in with us to share a house I was renting, and the rest they say is history. My daughter has watched me trying to cope with the way my NM and my NF have both treated me all her life. She has not been treated the way a Grandchild should be treated by either of these so called people however she has given both of them the chance to be her Grandparents and she has allowed them into her personal adult life.
When my beautiful daughter got married in 2013, she had been speaking with my NF, her Grandfather and his wife so she invited them to her wedding but as they already had holiday plans they didn’t attend. (A Narc will not change their plans for anyone no matter who they are.) My beautiful daughter got married on an island so I think that is a pretty awesome place to be if you ask me. My daughter had not had any contact with my NM, her Grandmother for many years so she felt no need to invite her. We were unable to attend due to my health, I was also an emotional wreck as well as a physical wreck the weekend of her wedding. Not being able to attend your daughters wedding because of illness really screws around with your head I can assure you.
Today, my beautiful daughter is experiencing her first pregnancy (and her last she says) and is expecting twins which we are all very excited about and we cannot wait to meet them. My loving husband and I have been spending a lot of time with our daughter and her husband helping them prepare for the arrival of our Grandchildren.
My beautiful daughter has been sharing some things with me about my NM and NF and his wife. My NF’s wife, appears to many as such a lovely lady, but she is a major shit stirrer (trouble maker) and never knows when to pull her head in (shut up and mind her own business) … My daughter announced on Facebook to their friends, that they were expecting twins and her Grandfather and his wife are also on Facebook and commented. My beautiful daughter made no effort to inform her Grandmother as she is not in her life. I informed my loving Aunt and a few other people who I always speak to but no-one had the guts or nerve to tell my NM. I mean not even her own sisters/Flying Monkeys. However, my NF’s wife told her.
If you really know a Narcissist, you will know that they will not stop complaining at ‘Not being informed’ and neither did my daughters Grandmother, because it was when my NF’s wife informed my NM that they were invited to my daughters wedding … (yes, she’s a major shit stirrer) … did my NM react. So my beautiful daughter got a text message from her Grandmother going off because she was NOT invited to her wedding back in 2013.
This is where I am so very proud of my beautiful daughter. Heavily pregnant with her twins that my NM will hopefully never get to see or hold, my daughter responded with a text message that basically told her that she was ‘pregnant with twins and she got married years ago and she didn’t need this shit’ … She said there was more to it but I was smiling and giggling and just so bloody proud of her … My daughter was putting a stop to the shit before it started.
My beautiful daughter grew up seeing me being abused on the phone, she saw me trying to cope with every phone call, saw me trying to cope up close and ‘in person’, she saw things that no-one else ever saw. She has the strength that I never had in my 30’s.
I let my brain tell me continually that they are my parents, I have to respect them and keep them in my life because of who they are and I am their only child or their first born, … Noone ever said I had a choice about how they treated me! I had to shut up and deal with it like a dutiful daughter … Let me tell you right now, it is bullshit, I owed them nothing! … You own them nothing!
I am so proud of my daughter for not allowing my NM to affect her life, her marriage or her children.
I told her I didn’t receive my usual Christmas text from NM and she said that she got one. I said ‘I’m sorry’ and she said she got it when they came to our place on Christmas Day but she just ignored it like I always have.
That is the secret you know … For years my NM sent me text messages at Easter, Christmas, Birthday, anytime, and called me and I ignored every single message and phone call and she has now stopped messaging me (I think, fingers crossed) … Stay strong, don’t give in, I know it is not easy and it will drive you crazy some days but you cannot let them back into your life, it will only make your life totally insane again.
Take care xxx
PS. The photo of the babies are a photo found on google …
©Narcissistic Truth & Klea
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