In the past 2 weeks my family has lost a wonderful gentleman in my Uncle N on Friday 2nd August, and today Tuesday 20th August, my Aunty S left us. Both are now finally free of pain and in peace together with their sisters Flo and Phyllis.
My beautiful Aunty P called me on both occasions to let me know of their passing. Both deaths have hit me hard.
I had always known about my Uncle N and his family as my MN spoke of him and especially his 2 sons (which she reminded me constantly that ‘they were so much better than I’ … ‘that they had better manners than I’ and ‘they respected her more than I did’ … Yes they were her Golden Children and I was the Scapegoat …
NM rarely if ever mentioned any of her older sisters and their family. I knew her 2 younger sisters L and M, because she kept in touch with them. I was born on Aunt L’s 16th Birthday, which was a big deal to that particular Aunt for many years … However truth be known, there was 10 sisters and 2 brothers in my NM family. And if she ever spoke about any of them, it was with hate and venom in her voice.
When I left my EX-NH, my eyes and my heart was opened to my very large extended family during the 12 plus years that my daughter and I lived in Mackay and I have so many beautiful memories from our time there.
I was unable to attend my Uncles funeral or call his home without causing problems for his wife or children prior to his funeral as my MN and her flying monkeys were there. However his wife, my beautiful Aunty M was my main concern. I vowed to speak with her after the funeral. Which I did the week after everyone had gone, we chatted for a long time and both felt much better for it.
It was my Aunt M that told me my Aunt S was not doing too good at all. My beautiful Aunty P had also mentioned that to me it seems that since Uncle N’s passing that our Aunty S had also had a turn for the worse.
A couple of days later, I received the news that Aunty S had left us. I checked my phone to see if I still had a number for my Cousin M. I called it hoping he would answer as it has been over 8 years since we have spoken. Yes, life does get in the way … He answered, and we talked just like it was yesterday … I asked him to pass on my condolences to his brother and reminded him that I loved him and his mother very much.
I had lunch with a dear friend after that call and I was telling her about how August used to be a month that we celebrated so many family birthdays. We have 5 birthdays within the first 3 days. My cousin is on the 1st, my Uncles birthday was the 3rd, the day after he passed away, mine was the 2nd, which I shared with an Aunty and a cousin…
However, this year we are celebrating the lives of 2 very beautiful and loving people, Uncle N and Aunty S.
I ask that you don’t think badly of me but I feel more for my MN’s sisters and brother, especially my beautiful Aunty P, who’s been more of a mother to me than my own MN. Honestly if my MN died tomorrow, I wouldn’t even give it a second thought.
I know that sounds harsh and cold but she has not been a mother/or attempted to be since I was 13 1/2 when she shipped me off to my NF because, she said I was ‘uncontrollable’. My NM had filled my NF’s head with so many lies that even he didn’t want me in his new family. So by the time I was 15 I was out on my own … Personally, it was the best move I ever made.
However, if my Aunty P passed away, I would be up north at the drop of a hat to be there for her family and attend her funeral, (my health permitting).
Many have told me when the time comes I may change my mind about my MN however I doubt it. When you have a narc as a parent, you learn after a while to protect yourself first so you can protect your own family via NC. I’ve been NC now for 20 years. Over that time I have been abused so many times by her flying monkeys, and I expect them to be the ones that carry on after my NM’s death. I’ll just let them look after everything and keep everything that she has (or sell it) as I don’t want a anything that my NM may or may not have.
Stay safe xxx
©Narcissistic Truth & Klea
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